Amy Winehouse Dead (Finally)

After being dead inside for nearly a decade, she will be remembered by a whole generation as a cautionary tale and mentioned at every intervention attempt for the foreseeable future.

The only thing really shocking about her passing is how long she managed to hang on living the half-life of a heroin addict. When you’re so brazenly antagonistic toward going to rehab there are really only two options left: jail or death… I guess now we know which one she chose.

Quartknee is an internationally beloved author, storied entertainer, and legendary night-life impresario. He’s also a prominent aesthete and all around tall guy.