Quartknee with Mark Bingham

It’s cool that we’ve closed a chapter in our nation’s history with Bin Laden’s death but the news for me feels bittersweet because it won’t bring back my friend Mark or anyone else that died on 9-11.

“I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.” – Mark Twain

I pray that this event marks a real turning point in our confrontations with islamofascists and that we can move forward to increase the peace.

Seeing the rejoicing in the streets of New York just turned my stomach. When people in the Middle East took to the streets to rejoice the events of that tragic day in 2001 I thought it was just as disgusting – seeing Americans do the same felt so pathetic and gut wrenching.

This isn’t some soccer match and to reduce it to the level
of sport dessecrates the memories of those we lost and it does a huge disservice to the men and women fighting to keep us safe.

We’re supposed to be fighting a rogue element of insane religious fanatics – have we sunk to their level and become insane religious fanatics worshiping at the alter or jingoistic nationalism?

The more the media covers the NYC fire department the more my heart hardens towards both the media and the FDNY. Each time I hear one of them talk about their “fallen brothers” I cringe – to me it makes them seem selfish, short sighted and ignorant.

Maybe it’s just the media editing their interviews to get a certain point of view, but I know from personal experience that grief can be an overwhelming thing at times. I also understand that if it’s still overwhelming you after ten years, please take some time off from work and talk to someone who can help you work through it. You can’t be fully present to do your job effectively if so much of your being is obsessed with loss and grief and the constant reminders of dead friends with the pressure to suppress everything to get through another day.

When anyone in a military uniform from any branch of the U.S. armed forces talks about their jobs it is very much in the context of the task at hand. Even in stories about their “fallen brothers or sisters” and the ones they’ve left behind, the service members I’ve seen being interviewed never forget that they’re in harms way to keep others safe. I wish someone could explain that to the FDNY.

I’m so sick of hearing that firefighters ran into the building as everyone else was running out… no duh, that’s what is supposed
to happen. That’s why we have fire fighters to put out fires and keep people safe – evacuation is a basic component of the process – it’s not newsworthy.

Going into dangerous situations is part of the job description not just for firefighters but for law enforcement at all levels – it’s normal and therefore doesn’t warrant such a strong focus. Flight attendants were the first people to die on 9-11-01 and according to the vast majority of media outlets that seems to be a footnote.

Could it have to do with the fact that the majority of
flight attendants are women and gay men while the majority of firefighters are straight men?

To me, the real heroes of 9-11 were the flight attendants who died trying to keep the hijackers out of the cockpit. Other heroes were passengers like my friend Mark who died while trying to thwart the attack and the tragic heroes were the office workers who stood near the windows and had to choose between death by smoke and fire or death by falling.

I still get choked up thinking about the people who jumped and the innocent comment by a child telling his mother to look at the birds on fire too.

I’m comforted by the laws of physics and believe that they lost consciousness about halfway down. That’s been my prayer for them because I’ve worked in offices and I can relate to the expectation of just another normal day and getting an extraordinary day in its place.

In thinking about them again today I’ve realized that maybe its not just members of the FDNY that need to work through a few things. I’m surprised to find a few raw nerves and exposed emotionalism in myself. Its surprising to find these last vestiges of pain because I’ve done so much to heal and move forward. I hope that with Bin Laden’s death we can all finally begin to heal the last twinges of grief and pain.